- "I feel like I am trapped in my body, doc.
I feel like I am trapped in my body, doc.
I feel like my essence is there but I am stuck in this box that I can’t escape!
I can’t recognize myself anymore.
Sometimes I feel I want to end it, so I jump down and let it be over, but when I do jump, I always end up right back where I stand.
This nightmare feels so real. I can no longer tell what’s real and what a dream is anymore!
I sometimes feel like the medication is too high right now, I see myself over and over again. Sometimes I am a bitch a prostitute, she calls herself “Additives”, so dirty. Doc, I sell myself for nothing, for pennies, and the worst part is that I put myself a big sign on me that say “For only $2.99”. You see doc., I advertise it openly.
I hate where I live right now the lights, the noise, and the crowdedness, so busy all the time.
So unhealthy! Maybe I should move, what do you think doc?
I remember those days when things felt right, I knew who I was, the air smelled fresh, my body felt right, I didn't have any issues, I was who I was and that was perfect. But now, everything it’s upside down. I don’t know what happened.
I know doc., you keep telling me this will pass, and it’s just stress caused by some kind of trauma that I experienced. Although I have to say its not all bad… I do have some good days that I can’t remember right now, but I should have some good days right?
Although during the bad days, it’s bad. Did I tell you that the other day I was hearing voices? I tried to meditate as you advice me, but voices kept distracting me, not outside voices, but inside of me. I don’t even recognize their voice. I just don’t know what to do.
I know doc. Take a few deep breaths, yes I am doing it. Ahhhh…, ahhhh, … oh yes I feel much better. Thanks doc.
What’s my name doc? Oh yes MacandCheese, what kind of a name is that anyways? French? Do you know doc.? Anyways I think I like it. Maybe Italian?
Doc, Can I tell you something? I know every time I bring this subject up you get worried, but it’s true! Every time one of my neighbors gets picked up, they never come back. I am really worried, there is something really wrong happening.
No doc, it’s not persecution fear; what I am telling you it’s the truth! They never come back! And I am scared someone it’s going to take me, and I am not going to know who I am, what if they leave me somewhere and I don’t remember where I live?
How to get back home? Ok thanks doc. That’s a good idea I keep the address inside my pocket. Oh… ok the time is up. Thanks doc. Yes I took the pill today. Yes I fell much better. Thanks doc! And see you next week".
1 comment:
Just ages of processed food when you were growing up!
Post a Comment