To the Loyal Soldier

I sense you from time to time
and I wish you wouldn't talk to me that way
so when I hear you speak
I feel deep sadness
sadness that dampens my bones
its like your voice overpowers me
takes a hold of me
and I find myself in a dark room all alone
I still hope that you'll soon stop
you speak of expectations that are almost never spoken
expectations that somehow speak about love or no love, caring or caring not
and it is the power of awareness and consciousness that allows me to break free of your trap
it still pains me though, to hear your words
and the memory of those words echo in the background, in my bones
and yet, my hope is to love you unconditionally
so one day I am able to stand in the dark,
listening to your words with an open heart
and then, your words won't pain me
I will only hear pain in your words and I will only try to comfort you
for you are the one that had been suffering all along.

Oh Sweet Child of Mine

Sweet child of mine, tell me what do you need. tell me about your wounds and sorrows. I want to love you and nurture you forever!I know that sometimes it doesn't feel fair... I know that sometimes you fall into anger and resentment when you don't get your ways, when you don't feel unconditional attention, love, and care from me or others.
I thank you for reminding me when I need to care for myself, acknowledge myself, love me and validate me. Thank you my sweet child, you are the wise one, it was never only about you, all along you where showing me the way to wholeness and I was so focused on you...
your way of loving and caring for me, your frustration no more than a projection to stop and give myself back the care, love, and attention I need.

The Eternal Flame

When we rely on others, expect from others...
we give our power away and therefore,
we give away our freedom.

I soon then came to realize,
that as confusion dissipates and clarity sets.
I come to grasp and feel that my power has never left me.
nothing was ever lost or given away,
it always resided within.

Revelations

As all life resides in balance with all that is; our gifts are able to arise to its fullest potential when we are allowed the space to do so. Sometimes we are challenged by others, a storm between our expectations and with what is..., so give thanks to those who challenge you- without the feeling of being tested your true power wouldn't be revealed.

The Warrior of Light

My house is haunted 
and there is nowhere to go 
I heard my mother say that in this process 
we are raw to our skin 
I can say that is exactly how I feel 
my skin, bare to the flames of fire 

I saw a ghost the other day 
it changed shape 
fear overtook me 
and I felt as if it touch me 
it would stick to me forever 
it had no face but when I looked  
it laughed at me 


There are moments of helplessness 
there are moments that the child within all she does is cry in anguish 
and the adolescence fights until she gets caught in wire 
and bleeds with her own anger and drowns in her own pain 
there are moments that the great mother comes with her gentle touch and caresses my face 
I can feel her love, I can feel the love within 
and for a brief moment there is acceptance, there is compassion, and comfort 


This is the journey of the warrior of light, 
and so far I can't tell you how it will end 
all I can say is that my stomach lives in a knot so tight that I'm choking 
the ghosts of fears hunt me everyday 
and the light within me and the beauty around me reminds me of my potential 
so I keep on going, one step at time 
one lesson at a time shining light into the darkest parts of myself

A sight of Truth

"As long as I believe in myself, I can do anything"

Today, the Earth is mourning

Today,
the Earth is mourning,
cause my heart, today, lays ten feet beneath the ground.
Goodbye my love. Goodbye.

Today, the sky is crying,
silently letting go...
of the expectations of tomorrow.

Farewell to the memories,
of a distant future.
And with the last sight,
remembering the days that we once had.

Today,
the Earth is mourning,
cause my heart, today, lays ten feet beneath the ground.
Goodbye my love. Goodbye.

So just for today,
I will let the river run,
I will let the sky fall in thunder and storm,
cause I know tomorrow it will nourish me somehow.
Somehow, I trust the sun will shine again,
and what once was gone,
will resurface transformed.

Today,
the Earth is mourning,
cause my heart, today, lays ten feet beneath the ground.
Goodbye my love. Goodbye.

A Letter to Death

I write to you Death.
You've been in my mind lately, you've been so present lately.
I guess I've been always in such a rush to grow up, and now that I am, I'm feeling scared that there is not enough time.
Not enough time to LIVE.

I write to you Death because I want to let go of that part of myself that always questions,
that part of myself that always feels that needs to do more to be enough,
that minimizes and says "this is nothing", "that was nothing".... and demands more and more.
I need to be better, do better!!! Try harder!

The girl that gets scared and wants to run away cause she feels trapped.
I guess death, what I am trying to say is that I'll miss the feeling of a hot summer day when the sun just set, and the sky is wearing pastel colors, birds are flying and still singing even though it started to get dark. A fresh crisp breeze comes in with no invitation, bringing a wave of vitality and life. A soft yawn from mother earth plays very softly in the background, and you know.
I guess death, I am saying I wake up everyday knowing that it is another day, and even though there are uncertainties, I also created certainties.
Death, I just sometimes feel I haven't accomplish what I am here for, I am just getting a sense of what it is. And yes I know, I hear you saying that I am doing it already but you know me I need to do more, be more- do more to feel that I am more.
Let me tell you death, I want to let go of that and at the same time I don't.
I feel so much love from Mother Earth, I feel so much right now from people in my life and I just don't know how to repay. You see in my life, I had to repay, that's been the way.

So my dear Death, please teach me to feel the sacredness of this life at all moments, teach me and remind me the sacredness of my being that I don't owe anything and nobody owes me. That life is about being, and in that being we just provide to others and others to us- by simply existing.
My dear Death, coming to this life you are the only certain- there is no escape and yet I don't feel trapped.

Reflections

When we accept death, any kind of death, we welcome and invite life IN fully....
Letting go of attachments, of any kind(expectations, relationships, goals...), we then are able to welcome FREEDOM to our life.
... the key?
nothing is certain, nothing is forever, we do not own anything and nobody owns us, we do not owe anything and nobody owes us. Our body, flesh and bone, SACRED as this moment, as this breath. In and Out, then the moment is gone or welcomed- that is completely up to YOU.

In my Heart Today

Blue skies, the sound of birds, and wind chimes bring a sense of hope and possibilities to my heart.
I cannot ignore though the sadness that my heart feels today,
as I cant ignore the ring of love that holds and embraces my sore chest.

How can I live my life feeling that so many empty spaces exist in the world,
spaces that are silent were compassion and passion should live in them,
moments of covering or hiding, when discovering and allowance should live in them,
spaces were we believe ignoring is the safest, healthiest, and most reasonable thing to do.
Behaviors that shouldn't be allowed, that are NOT allowed, to my perception of what Love represents!
behaviors that can be changed with kindness and community.

When did I started to believe that I can not heal? myself and what is around me.
When did I began to believe that this is what it is... that no big changes can occur because our society, our systems would collapse.
The world is just too big. The damage is just too big... already too big.

If I am connected to all, then every second there is a part of me that dies and reborns.
If that is not a possibility what is it then?

True Nature

You can call me tree, cedar, willow....
It really doesn't matter to me,
I know who I am anyways

As I stand strong
with my roots expanding into Mother Earth
juices of love and health flow back to me
in balance and with strength
I am here occupying this space

Where I stand
my branches reaching the unknown of Father Sky
sighs of wisdom, caressing me
shouts of thunder, challenge me
No limits my branches have, against gravity I grow
towards infinity and the mysteries of life
I am here occupying this space
I am free

Open your Eyes!

One day, my eyes opened,
realizing that my "doings"
prevent me from "being"
today's society is set for that conditioning to happen.

One day, my eyes opened,
realizing that most of the time, I chose blindness
I chose to give in to fear,
I chose to suppress my desires, to suppress my pain- to suppress, to control...

One day, my eyes opened
realizing we lost our sense of worth,
we fear that without our "needs and wants" we are nothing.
We forgot about our spirit.
We forget to ask more "Why's",
We forget that we are all interconnected in the web of life.
Our body, a symbiosis on itself,
we are part of the whole.
Our actions bring consequences.
Our hatred, spreads as our love does
Our consciousness spreads, as our ignorance does.
So why not next time chose to act with an open heart.

We stopped asking questions.
We lost hope.
We stopped listening to the wisdom of nature.
But there is still a chance.

One day, my eyes opened,
and I want to share my sight with you:
Our world as we once knew it, is ending.
We are destroying our resources,
We are destroying ourselves and every living creature,
We are destroying our home.
Its time to open our eyes,
Its time to open our hearts,
think not only of today but tomorrow as well.
Its time to believe in love and respect.
Its time to ask for forgiveness to our spirit, to our bodies, to our earth.
Its time to come back to ourselves as body, mind, and spirit.
Its time for you to open your eyes too!
Its time for you to share your sight with opened eyes as well!

Expansion and Contraction

Expansion and Contraction-
the duality of the two is what makes me so exhausted.
The need to control how much I let go, how much I show of myself...
-like an ice cube in a hot summer day that it doesn't want to melt.
How much more energy it takes to stay as an ice cube,
rather than let go and become fluid- like fluid water.

Untitled

The Universe is there, available to us
We just need to reach and embodied it.

The Power of Fear

When one opens up and is its fullest, there is no greater sense of freedom.
So what stops us? - for this should be our permanent state of being?

... the fear of being judged, not accepted, feared, hurt, not welcomed, ignored...

In fact it is our Fear the only one bringing feelings of insecurity, comfortless, and self-judgement
- NOT the freedom of being our true selves!

Breath in, and let it all Out!

When the day darkens in full summer.
Breath in and let it all out
If your dreams where crashed, if they were big and you had nowhere to put them. Breath in and let it all out.
When you feel like you are dying more than living. Breath in and let it all out.
When you feel your head is racing faster than your heart is pumping. Breath in and let it all out.
There's no secret potion, just follow your heart and leave your fears behind.

Mantra for 2013

I shall breath into presence/ especially during those times of uncomfort. I shall connect with my spirit/ that shines beneath the chaos of the self and the world around me/ where there's a deep silence and sense of peace murmured in the background. I shall respond not react to situations that trigger me/ as I won't condemned the messenger or myself. I shall connect with truthful love within/ be energy and vibrations within the forces of life/ rather than identifying to myself as a self described by a name, past experiences, future expectations, pains, accomplishments, and desires. I shall not move in life/ for the means to reach a goal to enhance my sense of self worth, but for inspiration, love, and life force. I shall let go of emotions that feed my ego and give me a sense of purpose, self-pity, or excuses/ I shall live in the moment consciously/ I shall be playful/ I shall surrender to love, life, and my spirit!

This Moment

For just a second, forget of who you are. let go of that sense of self. For just a second, forget of your past. let go of self judgements, fears, pain, and assumptions. For just a second, let go and breath in this precious moment that's now. For just a second, forget about the future. let go of your expectations, hopes of self, and desires. For just a second let go. breath and let the love within resurface. there is no better you than who you are now. Rejoice in who you are now! Your unique expression of your essence in this moment! Surrender to yourself in this moment!

As light and heavy as a sand grain

All life is as minuscule and giant as an ant can be, and as the universe can be. We are all as fragile and as powerful. We all matter and we all have a role in life. We all deserve to be here and we all deserve respect. We are all connected and we all have a reason to be We all have an end and even that has a reason too.

For Lupe

Because our friendship is not only for the simple fact of being a woman but also of spirit Because our connection is not only of blood but because of our journey Because today its about you and I know tomorrow could be about me and both of us Because when we fall we will have each other to stand back up Because we hold hands from the depths of our hearts I wish you a happy birthday my beautiful sister! And may all your dreams come your way May this year be one to remember!! Love You, Sofi