The Spirit of the Red CedarTree- Circle of Stones Story

i lived a thousand years that's what the rings on my body say
roads filled with stories of an ancient time, a quiet time
scars from hard winters and strong storms
leaves that left me nourishing me and my surroundings
blooming flowers, brought new friends and good companions
warming and gracious moments, when i served as refugee to others
hugs and smiling moments, when i danced with other at the rhythm of the wind

i lived a thousand years that's what the rings on my body say
i lived a thousand years, until they cut me down
until i fall down hard to the ground in a big roar
the earth tremble as my body was breaking- shattered
until my body was detaching from my roots, my nourishing life

a thousand years i lived and more
today there is still a whole in those woods
there is still a part of me living there
a scar on the soil where i stood
silent wind blows on my grounds
i am the spirit of a red cedar tree
that lived a thousand years

My Future?- Circle Of Stones Story

hahaha! she always laughed in her younger age
but now she cant stop doing it
her laugh- loud and clear and everyone hears
her white long silver hair like a whole moon lighted night
a waterfall of light pouring into the ocean

her eyes tell a thousand stories- you can tell she cried a lot
of pain and laughter
oh! her hands- her poor hands
she use to look at them and say: " oh my hands my poor hands!
what would i do without my hands...
yes i know i have to take care of them"

she laughs and she laughs like an old tree she moves
nothing seems the same, she says
if i knew before ... i had my doubts that it might be this way but still thought i had more
but time never waits
hahahaha! she laughs so loud
if i knew but i guess i know now
at least i know now.

Sofi's Mantra

i shall always try to keep untruths out from my thoughts
i shall always listen to my heart and not my confused mind
i shall always believe my only freedom is the one i create for myself

fighting for that moment in life when time doesn't count but feel life

i shall always see light when life shows me only darkness
i shall always dig deep into my feelings when i can't understand or control
i shall always face my fears

fighting for that moment in life when time doesn't count but feels life

i shall always close my eyes in silence when my head gets too loud
i shall always listen to the voice of nature for advice
i shall always question myself and others, never agreeing without understanding

i shall never be scared of being wrong
i shall always find love behind every emotion
i shall always be true to myself and others
I shall always try to forgive even when they done me wrong

Shapeless

What’s an emotion?
Nothing... and everything
its shapeless
unless we give it a form
a shape: as a song, as a painting, as a touch, as a look, as a word, as an image

how do we know what are we feeling?
When did we discover the emotion of pain or joy?
When it was once described or when it was felt like a tear or a smile?

Like seasons there’s a time for everything
a time for growth, a time to shed our leaves, a time to bloom and a time to dry and provide our everything to others- to enhance those others with a chance of life
the continuation of ourselves

so everything is shapeless- no more than energy flowing
until we create a shape to that energy

Colors in Life

Once I thought that everything was yellow
those were my childhood days- where everything was bright as the day
Once I thought that everything was green
i was a kid, filled with hope- filled with innocent thoughts
Once i thought everything was red
growing up, when i learn what fear and pain meant

Once I thought that you would come into my life and rescue me
Once I thought that you would pull me out of every misery
but now I know there is no God, might you could still be my fantasy
but now I know there is no God, might you could still be my friend

Once I thought that everything was white
there was peace- there was bliss- i was discovering- i was growing- i was uncertain but filled with love and dreams
Once I thought that everything was blue- that everyday would rain
I would cry my heart out- until the next day

Once I thought that you would come into my life and rescue me
Once I thought that you would pull me out of every misery
but now I know there is no God, might you could be what I dream
but now I know there is no God, might would you please let me in or
let me out compltely

Once I thought that you would come into my life and rescue me
Once I thought that you would pull me out of every misery
Once i thought so many things... now i dont believe

my life... an abstract rainbow, intangible, colorful, beautiful, vibrant
a mystery, unreachable and free- for everyone except myself
I don't need a God, i need a rainbow
colorful even when everything is dark-a storm where there's a gleam of light
in the showers a light that brings hope to the heart
A rainbow that's all i need

If it was up to ME

Suddenly something went wrong along the way
and we got to the point, where the road split in two
night from day
black and white
right from wrong
truth from lies
far from close
and here we stand today
but if- it was- up to me
the sun- would shine everyday
and the moon- would be full
and fools- wouldn't be fooled
if- it was- up to me
dishonesty- wouldn't be a word
everyday would be spring
but that, if it was- up to me

If it was up to me
when the rough weather comes to your life
a rainbow would be shining up high
if- it was- up to me
I ll give you your everything
every dream that you cant reach
every need that you dont receive
but that if it was up to me
when you are asking for help
and there's no one around
you shout
you yell
and still no one comes
if- it was- up to me
your voice would be heard
and your heart I ll embrace
but that, if it was up to me
no misery
no regrets
no violence
no destruction
but that, if it was up to me

What are we supposed to do

All this time trying to figure out
what are we suppose to do

Nobody ever told us what went wrong
Nobody ever told us what was going on
And what choices to make to have a better consequence

All this time trying to figure out
what we are supposed to do

Fighting against society
that rules and conquers
molding us like bonsais
shaping our way of life
so we forget and follow the mass

All this time trying to figure out
what we re supposed to do

And we realized freedom is not against us
its within us
the only way to find it its by following our heart
there is no balance in black and white

All this time trying to figure out
what we re supposed to do
nobody ever told me what went wrong
nobody ever told me what was going on
and I spent all night
trying to figure out what was going on
I did the best I could, the best I knew

All this time trying to figure out what we’re supposed to do
nobody ever told us what went wrong
nobody ever told us what was going on
and what choices to make to have a better consequence
a different consequence

Our Chains

I am chained to reality
but in my dreams I find freedom
in my dreams I am free

Last night I dream I flew to the stars
and when I came back to tell you what I have done
it was too late I was already chained
I tried to shout and ran away
but it was too late I was already chained

Today it was lightening and that’s not a common thing
and when a thunder told me the secret
and now that its gone my soul aches in prayer
thunder in my heart but it was too late
I was already chained

I am chained to reality
but in my dreams I find freedom
in my dreams I am free

Last night I dream that my laugh was contagious
and my smile was whole
but when I woke up- it was too late
I was already chained
I tried to shout and ran away
but it was too late I was already chained

Someone once said make the life you want
but no one told me it was going to be this hard
I am anchored to my thoughts- I am a prisoner of my fears

I am chained to reality and I find freedom in my dreams
I am chained to this reality
and all I dream of is freedom
and all I dream of is to get freed
I am chained to reality and I find freedom in my dreams
I found freedom in my dreams

Living in the city

sounds of a society Your presence, so precious
your presence so precious to me
that’s constantly changing and growing
just like us

a society that no matter how hard we try
we cant escape
cause the second when we were born
we became part of it

a society
a distant sound of a siren
with a thousand possibilities
of a person in danger
a house burning down
a car accident, a robbery, a murder

I stopped wondering what’s happening beyond my walls
on the other side of my own world
does that makes me a bad person?
Did I lost my sensitivity?
After all these years of witnessing this society?
Perhaps....
Did I got use to them?
Perhaps...
Did I loose my faith?
Did my voice got lost in this ocean of strangers with no face/
Perhaps...

Living in the city, in a city the kingdom of a society
that we created a long time ago
that molds us
that mold me with time into my mood- this time being black
Living in the city- my crime, my death

When the day comes
where I stop taking care of myself and my love ones
when I stop wondering about life
please don’t condemn me but this society that we live in

That’s Life

There’s no reason to believe
that it will always be this way
The sun shines for so many days
and then hides somehow behind the clouds

That s life, why is it never enough?
if I ever find the meaning of freedom
I promise you’ll be the first one to know

How can you leave the current
that breaks and takes
there’s always so much you can give
and so much you can give in

That s life, why is it never enough?
if I ever find the meaning of freedom
I promise you’ll be the first one to know

Love doesn’t mean a thing when is not shared
and I still have so many questions and no one to ask
wondering if you hold me when I fall down
until then, uncertain

That s life, why is it never enough?
if I ever find the meaning of freedom
I promise you’ll be the first one to know

That’s life
no questions -no answers.... some how they are all inside
no one can guide just walking blind until you see the light

There was a time

There was a time, when I was a child
I had nightmares every night
my house was burning down
... so now
memories from my childhood faded away
and I don’t longer remember them

I come from so many stories, ideas of a past
that I might have created along my life
I come from so many, many stories
that I wrote down, that I cried out, that I laughed out loud
some survived, some faded away

I once buried a precious rose
trying to leave it behind
cause it was hurting my heart
it made me cry so many times, it was still hunting me down
I couldn’t understand why if I’d berried that one in the past
I come from so many, many stories
and I discovered the rose lived in my mind
and no longer in my hands

There was a time when I thought I could change the world
make it a better place
but I forgot I was the first one to be saved
so I berried the rose again
cause it was causing me so much pain, again
I was growing old and hopefully wise

I come from so many stories, ideas of a past
that I might have created along my life
I come from so many, many stories
about a far away land that I left behind
and I thought my heart turned into ice
I come from so many stories and some changed along the way

My mind thinks I cried but I might have actually laugh out loud
now I that I think I can see clearly I am blind
even though you bring light to my life
I still fear that I might crash

Past memories they hunt me and scare me
I don’t want to believe in false stories anymore
I know I cant fix the world but I can fix my own universe

I wish I had healing powers
but I am no more than a crooked tree
a crooked tree that now grows toward the light, towards the sky
I have some lovely flowers but nothing too much

I come from so many stories
I come from so many memories
so I hope you understand
I still fear you might cut me down
it was written in my heart since I was a child
the fear of being left behind

I come from so many stories
and now its time for mine
cause all I want to do
is write about you an me
until the words fade with the last breath of our forgotten story
our forgotten memory our forgotten life

Zero

What's religion? What's faith? and what are your believes today?
In ancient times we worship the moon and sun...
music and dancing had been a way of expression
Today I don't know if we have one

Chorus:
A curse in the place, that didn’t give me rest
A curse in the place that didn’t open their arms for an embrace
A curse in the place, that slammed the doors in my face
A curse in the place, that left the ones in need to hang and burn
So many misunderstanding along the way that we can’t longer control
cause power and greed rules them

Is there such a thing as a destiny? Is there one for my soul?
Am I so lost that I can’t see it at all?
or I am walking through every reason to be and become?
If even the smallest creature has one- even though it is the simplest one-
am I that dumb?-why can't I see mine?

Chorus

Is this my only reason to be? Questioning life, Unrevealing the cruelty and vanity in society?
Feeling pain in happiness and sadness- Feeling vulnerable- Feeling doomed- Feeling imprisoned
Is love enough? or just a fairy tale? Is passion enough?
Is an ideal enough or needs an action to be heard?
Work- a word from modern times
Surviving- a word forever
Love- the only word that is real- a destiny

The Truthful Night

The night spread its wings, when the sun fall down
I was still hoping for that soft light to touch my face
and warm up the tears that got stuck somewhere in my heart

Knowledge became a boundary that I fear and not dare to face
understanding oh far away it is from me
while sometimes I can hold and embrace, steps away it is
always, feeling out of reach like the moon- so close and so far away at the same time
like water through my hands

There are no answers
There is no truth
There is just life

A deep feeling of absence and quietness, invades me from time to time
where I become nothing, light as a feather and heavy as a pound of them
my body transcends its own limits and mind gets confuse so it stops
Energy. Life. .... could be my only answer to every question
that’s all I have, might not be too bright, too wise
but that’s the only certainty I have in this life

One dreamy Night

Looking up, towards the sky
the stars were like quartz,
shining, vibrating, sending energy towards me

The sky tonight like
an umbrella, above me, covering me
when once thought it was protecting me
today I felt small with nothing to give

No idea what I was doing, if my energy was as strong as them
if my light died right away?
I wanted to go where they were, with no protection
at an open space, immensity, imagination, creation, smiles, almost eternal
I closed my eyes and I left, I left....

The Truth won’t set you Free

I can finally see the chains in my ankles, in my head, in my hands, in my heart
what is this? I'm trapped in time so I am not free, I am trapped in this glass so called yesterday and today. Its all right, cause I don’t want to keep on walking on this facade of life- this is not life
we created a prison and we imprisoned ourselves and every single living creature on earth
by believing we are gods? How did we gain the power to say “ you live or you die”
what truth- but condemning ourselves in believing we deserve more- by believing we all want to be condemned to the same fate as yours?

In the Dark- for a while

I'm locked inside
a prisoner I am- like water- that tries to flow away but its limited to a glass
a prisoner of these feeling, a prisoner of this pain
why oh why?
My body is shaking and my hope in smithereens- my logic crashed
Empty. Empty. Empty I am
there’s nothing left but silence and obscurity
I cant sleep and I don’t want to be awake anymore
no reason there are no reasons
it was all a lie
there are no reason at all
there’s no reason behind

Weep child, Weep

emptiness, vacuum, silence, darkness, tears and pain
swollen eyes, dry lips, cold hands, blurry and burning sight
a knot in my stomach and pressure in my chest
the storm is filled with rage and I have no strength to fight it anymore

weep child, weep away your pain
weep child, weep there’s nothing wrong in crying
he’ll come and rescue you, as he once said

the pain will, go you’ll heal- my child
the storm will ease, the empty space will be filled, words will be spoken
and the sun will shine again, warming your heart- my child you’ll see
I said to myself, while the last tear runs through my face,
hoping that soon I’ll laugh until my cheeks hurt
soon, an immense happiness will burst open my chest, instead of this unbearable sadness

I know, as soon as I accept the pain it will walk away
so go on, weep child, weep I said to myself

Nightmares

I woke up today without even knowing
that I was going to have a sleepless night
with the keenest knife stuck in my heart
I look at the stars and they don’t seem beautiful anymore
instead, they scare me
I am devastated, by an invisible current of pain
would it me too drastic to stay quiet in the dark trembling my heart out?
would it be too drastic to stay until the flames erupt through my mouth?
Or wait until things calm down, and my hearts heal one more time?

Pay me back I bought a fairy tale and you gave a horror one
the one I am scared all the time, and now, I am lost and tired

Scary it is feeling that I don’t have the same effect on you
frightening and painful it is- or its that I blind? Or that you hide it all inside?
I bought a fairy tale and I want it now if you cant give it to me, just pay me back
pay me my time I spent shaking in horror, pay me my lonely nights,
pay me the days I was in sorrow.
Well, I bought a fairy tale,
but all I need is not to be scared and in pain all the time

Follow Me

I don’t know where I am going and I don’t where this street will end
but please hold my hand anyways, follow me -follow me

Foot steps on the sand, softly printed
hold my hand, hold me tight
lets grow old together
you and me, lets paint the journey
go on, follow me -follow me

I don’t where I am going and I don’t know where this street will end
but hold my hand anyways, lets discover this world together
so follow me and I’ll follow you

Who’s living Your life?

Don’t you feel sometimes, like someone is living your life?
Steps that are somehow made and you don’t have a clue how or why

Your head is filled with memories that no longer recall
and you still wonder, what happened to your dreams
dis they changed or they are out of reach?

Don’t you feel sometimes, like someone is living your life?
In that precise moment, you suddenly stop
wondering who is the person that’s looking back through that mirror
discovering that your life is filled with strangers, including yourself

Don’t you feel sometimes, like someone is living your life?
for some reason we keep waiting, hoping for a future that never comes
‘cause it’s not ours, but somebody else’s

Oh So Many Why's

hat happens when everything makes sense and at the exact same time,
nothing makes sense at all
and I wonder if we are the ones, making our lives harder and harder
every time harder and harder
when the universe its ruled in such a simple way
you ask why and I ask why, oh so many times
and I discovered that I am not getting any wiser, on the contrary
it feels that, I am getting dumber and dumber, every time dumber and dumber
‘cause I still have so many why’s

Like why do we imprison ourselves and others
in traditions, rules, religion and society?
When life should be as simple as the air we breath
you ask why and I ask why, oh so many times
and I don’t think I am getting any smarter, on the contrary
it feels that, I am getting dumber and dumber, every time dumber and dumber
‘cause I still don’t understand so many why’s

I don’t wonder why or how my heart beats anymore, instead
I wonder why my heart rushes every time I feel trapped
and who had this greatest idea in the past of setting a standard of life
reflections, perceptions and the eternal questions that I am so weary to ask....
Why oh so many why’s

and I don’t think I am getting any wiser, on the contrary
it feels that, I am getting dumber and dumber,‘cause I still have so many why’s
so many why’s....

Floating Time

I
if only happiness, joy, and bliss would leave a scar carved in our body
then, pain wouldn't feel the same

II
is joy that brings love? or the other way around?
is it understanding?
i hope i can always express my soul through my eyes, through my movements in life

What Matters

(I)
There is no shape, we are not our bodies but the essence inside
so much that we loose by forgetting
so concerned we are in what they might see in us
so trapped in our logic that we cant figure out
that what matters is the content, our essence not the core, the container that's just holding us
....
(II)
Water would be as immense as the earth, as an ocean if it wasn't conditioned to a glass or a river bend just like us

Growing Old

As I grow, I realized that some of us grow wise and others just tall
we cry, we laugh, we fall so many times- again and again
some rolled and crawled where then we stand and walk
sadly, some stay where they fall

As I grow, I realized that some of us blossom and others never ripe
I discovered so many things that make my eyes bleed and others that make my heart sing
As I grow, I realized that some of us grow old and other just tall
someone once wrongly told me that- nothing is for certain- but some are like love- life.